
Probably the nicest, most impacting gift I ever received from my husband was for our 48th anniversary. He gifted me with a beautifully designed leather-bound journal that he had been writing in for a year. For a solid year, every day, he noted something he loved about me. He wrote just inside the cover, “I committed to adding one thing each day for the entire year leading up to our 48th anniversary. And yes, the reticular activator kicked in. Because I was looking for specifically one thing I love about you, I noticed so may things that it became easier and easier each day. I never struggled to come up with just one thing. I never wrote ahead and I never told a single person. I wanted to make sure the motivation was only to express my love to you….not because I answered a goal I had to reach.”
How could I not love this guy?! I was overwhelmed with gratitude and brimming with love. And I have thought of this gift often. When I hear a friend bashing her spouse or a man degrading his wife, I wonder if they are focusing more on the negatives and forgetting the positives.
Bing Crosby once crooned in Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive:
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between.
I think it would be a good little ditty to sing every morning. Whether it is how you look at your day, your work, your life, your spouse, your children…..”Latch on to the affirmative.” Perhaps it’s another way of seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. We have choices every day about what we think and do.
That little journal Dan gave me two years ago has definitely given me pause to consider what I love about him when I am disappointed, angry or frustrated. Ironically, it’s the very things that sometimes irritate me that are what drew me to him in the first place.
I could make a long list of why I love my spouse. In fact, I have done just that on many occasions and listed a few in my Creating a Haven of Peace book. The gentle reminder that love is more important than criticism, love is more important than being right, love is more important than the small details…..is what makes for strong and lasting relationships. When I concentrate of the positives….latching on to the affirmatives…..I see the man I have loved for five decades, not just the man I have endured. I am not satisfied with “Mister In-Between”. I want the best relationship I can have and that is accomplished best by acknowledging every day that practicing being love and being kind is better than being right!
I challenge you to create your own journal. It doesn’t have to be a whole year. Do it daily just like you would a gratitude journal. Why I love you….. I guarantee you will begin to look at your partner more with loving eyes than with critical ones. Let me know how this works for you! I’d love to hear.
Love this Joanne! I think he’s a keeper! 🙂
Oh, yes, Debbie, He is definitely a keeper. Thanks for your comment.
What a beautiful gift of love! Thank you for sharing!
You are welcome, Judy. Glad it blessed you!
This is beautiful! (love you guys)
Thanks, Rose. Hope it blessed you.
Wow, what a thoughtful gift. Thanks for the wonderful suggestion. And the reminder that the things that drive us crazy are also the things we most love. ❤️
This is a mic drop action for relationships! Thank you for sharing this inspiring idea!
Thanks for your comment Regina. Anything worth having is worth working for and having a great relationship takes continual nurturing!
So incredible. Yes, an amazing gift of love that is so powerful. Simply setting the intention to seek out the good can make such a dramatic shift in your perspective on life! Love this!
Thanks Ashley. I know you and Nathan are doing the same….always working on your marriage. I so commend you for that.
Perfect …just what I needed to read…and absorb!
You are a gift and I am sooo thankful I am on your list!
Bless you!
Betty….So glad this message was what you needed. Dan and I have never wanted to just “settle”. We have always wanted our lives together to be a grand adventure enjoyed by both of us….and so we continually do things to bolster our love for one another. Thanks so much for your sweet comment!