This week, my husband, Dan, has spoken at two conferences about Investing In Yourself. At both events he has been very warmly received. It seems many entrepreneurs need a reminder that spending the money to attend a conference is an investment in their growth that can pay huge dividends.
I have recently read for the zillionth time, Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift From the Sea. I wore out my copy years ago and had it spiral bound back together because I didn’t want to throw away my notes and highlighting. It seems every year I read this book I gain new understanding about how important it is to invest in myself. I love the line, “What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives.” How true. And how we undervalue our need to take time out to rest and recuperate. Men do this too.
There are many ways one invests in oneself. The entrepreneur attends another conference, the student takes another course, the teacher learns a new technique, the artist experiments with a new medium. But no matter who you are or what you do, we all need time to rest. Even a piece of metal and wires like a computer needs to reboot on occasion. It gets bogged down with overload. Just like we do. Sometimes Dan tells me he has “used up all his words” and he simply needs a period of quiet and solitude.
Moms need that too. I remember those days of interrupted sleep, whether because of an infant’s cry, a child’s illness, or a teenager’s coming home late. I know how hard it was for me to take time to rest my weary body. But I also recall that when I got a chance I grabbed a nap now and then. Now that I am older, and perhaps a bit wiser, I don’t feel guilty taking those naps, nor do I stress over all the things I didn’t get done. I have learned those things can wait till I am in a better frame of mind. Till I reboot. And those things will get done faster and more effectively because I have listened to my body.
In this era of increasing narcissism it bears explaining that taking care of oneself, investing in oneself, is not done at the expense of others. Narcissism is a sense of entitlement that doesn’t include empathy for others or concern for another’s well-being. A narcissist is controlling and manipulative and deceptive. It’s not a good place to be.
Don’t confuse your need to take care of yourself with being selfish or narcissistic. Instead, recognize that investing in yourself leads to creating a better you that can benefit your family, your business, the world. I have witnessed too many individuals who have worn themselves to a frazzle taking care of others and saving the world that they are no longer able to function, rife with exhaustion and stress-related illnesses.
Investing in yourself can take on many applications. But taking time out, creating some white space in your life can be the most valuable preventive health regimen you can practice. I heard someone say many years ago that sometimes we simply have to give ourselves permission. It’s as simple as that.
Are you allowing permission to become healthier and more balanced by investing in yourself, creating habits of rest and relaxation? Have you been under the illusion that taking a nap or taking a no-tech day or a vacation is a waste of time? Is it time for you to say “no” to more appointments, meetings, housework and projects because you have scheduled time for yourself? That appointment could be the most important one of your day!
Thanks for the reminder, Joanne!
Isn’t it interesting that we have to be reminded to rest? Anne Morrow Lindbergh was talking about that back in 1955 and it is the same today! Thanks for reading and commenting, Myra!
Awesome – let’s spend more time doing nothing together!
Yeah! I’ll second that! How about the first couple weeks in Oct when we are at the beach?!
I’ve heard things similar to all you just said from different folks at different times in my life, but I’ll have to say that when you say it, Ms. Joanne, it brings on even more meaning to me. I trust your and Dan’s judgement and wisdom as much (actually maybe more) as anyone I know. You’re encouragement and kindness has helped me more than you will ever know. I feel like I automatically reboot every time I read or listen to anything you write or say. So I will simply say…. thank you. 🙂 Also, I miss seeing you and Dan.
Thanks so much for your sweet comment Archie! We miss seeing you too. I’m so glad you like my posts and honored that you take the time to read and comment. It means a lot to me! Blessings to you and Gloria!
Indeed I DO read your post, Ms. Joanne. AND your replies too! Thank you. 🙂
Yep! I just re-did my coaching packages and put up this quote: “If you say you don’t have the resources to invest in yourself, you have a scarcity problem. You don’t have an income problem, you have a thinking problem. I don’t believe enough in myself to invest in me.” John Maxwell
People are quick to justify investing money with their businesses, but not with themselves or their families. Yet when you add in the cost of relationships lost, divorce, therapy, etc it is so, so worth it to invest in those you care most about. And investing isn’t simply financial, but in time spent and the positive deposits in your relationships through affirmation, communication, validation, respect, humility, etc.
And for us – if we don’t fill our own cups, we are depleted to share with others, just like Dad references in his wine video. When we are exhausted, stressed, and maxxed out, how much are we actually able to serve and support the ones we love? It’s critical to take the time to recover so you are really are able to bring forth your best self!
So well said! And yet how often do we forget to just be still?? I love reading your words, Joanne. They are filled with such wisdom, and bless me immensely. Much thanks to you for taking the time to share!
Thanks so much for your sweet comment, Evangella (such a beautiful name!). I think often we fail to take time to rest because we have been programmed to continually be productive and we feel guilty if we aren’t. But the irony is that by allowing for that “white space” in our lives, we actually do become more productive! Blessings to you.
So very true, my wise daughter! I’ll bet I have heard/read that John Maxwell quote a dozen times in the last week! It’s powerful and right on. Thanks for taking time to read and comment. I am honored. And I know you do a great job of balancing a busy but very rewarding lifestyle….with plenty of time to rest and enjoy family. Love you!
….well as I “race” to my next event…..I will have your wise words in the back of my mind or better yet my “soul” and ask myself, “is this really necessary?” or could I
replan my life to accommodate ME!…….
I LOVE the sentence, “could I replan my life to accommodate ME!” Wow! I hope you can do that….and often! Thanks for the great comment! Blessings, jfm
Always beautiful words of wisdom. I feel like I could be the poster child for this blog entry.
Ha! I think a lot of us struggle with this issue, Vickie. Thanks for your comment!