I recently read a book written by a friend whose mother had passed away after many long years of decline from Alzheimers. It was the most amazing book on “mothering” I have ever read. April Perry is a powerful voice in podcasting and the Internet (check out Power of Moms and Learn, Do, Become) with tens of thousands of followers. She is a loving wife, mom to four children and an astute entrepreneur. April and her husband, Eric, work together and love it. How April had the time to devote to writing Thursdays with Zoe is a miracle in itself. It is a tender book of stories about relationship that engages, warms the heart and certainly lays out examples of incredible parenting, no matter the ages of your children. I loved it. Even though my children are grown and my influence is much different than it was in their formative years, I am still their mother and that will never change. They still come to me and share their lives, their disappointments, their achievements and their dreams and I pray they always will. There is no expiration date on mothering.
Zoe was April’s mother and she was a pretty incredible woman. One nugget I gleaned from April’s writing is that her mother was always present. She was available. I find that in our busy world today, being present and available is just about non-existent. How can one be truly “in the moment” when the cell phone is dinging, the deadlines are looming, FB is beaconing, and there is too much noise and busyness? It’s hard. Even for a grandmother.
I remember a time I became frustrated because I was writing a book, teaching and attending art classes, and feeling overwhelmed with all I had on my To Do list. But I also had grandkids around clamoring for my attention. It was a light-bulb moment for me realizing not every decision is based on how effectively I can multitask. Some decisions are simply either/or. Trying to do my work while putting the grandkids off simply wasn’t working well for anyone. I learned that I needed to be in the moment with them. To be available to teach, play, laugh, learn and grow with them.
How available are you these days? It’s a question that often runs through my head. I am, admittedly, a pretty busy lady. I have commitments, appointments, housework, writing, art classes, teaching, speaking, and a zillion other things I do. And every one of those things are choices I make on a daily basis. But in our family there has always been a constant theme of “relationship above all” that trumps much of what I do to fill my days. I carve out time to answering emails and text threads from my children, play word games with a couple of my grandchildren and meeting a friend for lunch who needs to get out and have some girl time because she is lonely. Those things are important to me. And, let’s face it, the things that are most important are the things we put at the top of our To Do lists.
April Perry penned how her mother would say, “There you are! I’ve been waiting for you…..” when one of her children would come to her. What a powerful message to convey. Zoe took time to let others know they were important to her….not just her children and grandchildren. Her friends and neighbors were also the recipients of her unconditional love and generosity.
Lots to be learned always. Reading Thursdays with Zoe made me want to be more “in the present” on many levels. More in tune with the world around me and less so with the cyber world that often commands more attention than is healthy. It’s a challenge…and a choice…. every day.
Joanne, you are one of the wisest women I know, and I love your posts. I just ordered the book and cannot wait to read it. When you said… “It was a light-bulb moment for me realizing not every decision is based on how effectively I can multitask. Some decisions are simply either/or.” WOW–so true. You always make me think! And while I think I am an effective multitasker, my husband says no one can be an effective multitasker and in my heart, I know it’s true (and it’s also not good for my health). Thank you for this Monday morning wisdom!
Chris, I used to think I was more “valuable” if I could be Wonder Woman and do six things at once. Author, Parker Palmer, in his book On the Brink of Everything says he used to do many things at a time but as he got older he now concentrates on doing one thing well. I like this thinking. I’m getting older…and I simply need to spend more time on the things of importance. The house will survive if it has cobwebs and dust balls. But the kids, grandkids, friends, and other family members are getting older and growing up way too fast. I don’t want to miss making memories with them. Thanks for your sweet comment!
Joanne,
I can’t wait to get the book, thank you for letting me start this week inspired by you.
Linda S.
Linda, You are so welcome. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did. It made me smile, shed a tear and think of the legacy I might leave behind. Blessings, jfm
I love that – “There you are! I’ve been waiting for you…..” What a sweet greeting for a child or grandchild. We can be busy, but still create the precious memories with that beginning.
I often hear Ashley ask her kids, “What is your goal?” and it makes me realize that the end goal is what I need to keep in mind.
What a wonderful way to edify April and her amazing-sounding book, and also share so much of your own heart, live, and wisdom with us, the reader.
Touched. Challenged. Inspired.
Thank you, Joanne.
♥ Renee
Thank you, Renee…..April is a dear and her mother was an amazing example of unconditional love. Bless you, jfm
Well said, Joanne from a woman who knows and has made peace with her priorities!
Thank you Marcy! Glad you commented. jfm
Bless you for slowing me down as I “race” through my days……I love my flowers, garden, planting and growing ….now it is time to smell
the precious flowers I have planted…..time to be “still”…..
Oh, Betty…it is the hardest thing to do when you are used to DOING all the time. But I am accepting this is a new season. A time to reflect and enjoy the moment. Thanks for your comment. Blessings, jfm
Joanne, this just made my day!!! It means so very much to know my mother’s stories are living on and continuing to help others. You are a GIFT, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. Much, much love!!!
Your mother was as GIFT and I am so happy you shared your stories of her with the world! Love you, April…..